Chaotic Illusions
by Julian Ketrarch Spire
Summary: No longer a oneshot. Vincent and Chaos share a journey that occurs just before and during DoC, but after AC. Hinted TifaVincent. Yuffentine is main pairing. Thank you chaos'babe for inspiring me to write more. I owe ya! Read and review, please. JKS.
1. Chapter 1

Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 1

Vincent Valentine leaned casually on the upper balcony of ShinRa Manor, his blood-red eyes sweeping out over the grounds that spread endlessly before him. His mind floated around in his head, touching on old memories, promises, and failures. He sighed, allowing his mind to briefly rest in the cave where he knew Lucrecia Crescent lay entombed in Mako Crystals.

**_Well, that's not new! Are you ever going to stop brooding over her?_**

Vincent turned and walked into the Mansion that had been his home for over thirty years. "No, Chaos," he said aloud, "I probably won't."

_**I don't see why you're harping on this anyway – she's dead. Shit happens. Cry me a river, build a bridge, and GET OVER IT!**_

Vincent continued to walk, his copper foot armor making dull clunking sounds against the half-rotted wood. "What would you know? You're a demon."

Chaos gave the mental equivalent of a shrug. **_I've been trapped in this near-empty head of yours for over three decades, and I've been exposed to a lot more than your angst, gunman._**

Vincent seated himself in one of the dusty armchairs that littered his home. "Such as?"

_**Thoughts… feelings… you know you've got 'em.**_

The gunman shrugged, "Never said I didn't."

_**But you hide them nonstop. What the hell's your problem? Open up. Live a little. Have fun. BE HAPPY!**_

"Chaos, you're a demon from hell telling me to be happy… what's wrong with this picture?"

_**You brooding like a half-dead vulture, that's what. Why don't you go visit the others? I know that bouncy little ninja, Yuf-something, had a thing for you. She'd be glad to see you again.**_

"Yuffie? She'd only be glad for the chance to steal some of my Materia and you know it."

_**Okay then, Tifa. You know, the bartender? You could drop by on the pretense of 'just having a drink' and perhaps catch up on old times.**_

"Why are you pushing me to do this?"

_**Face it Vinnie, your social skills plain suck."**_

"That's an improvement from last time, where you quoted Cid."

_**Either way, you need MAJOR help. You couldn't hold a conversation with a pet rock, let alone a member of the opposite gender. I think I'm the only one you'll talk to, and that's because you have no other choice.**_

"Chaos, go to hell."

_**Wish I could, pal.**_

Vincent stood up and began to pace again. "If I did go visit the others, they would become suspicious. I never just appear for the sake of appearing. Besides, it's not like they like me or anything."

_**Vincent, you're a doorknob.**_

"Pardon?"

_**You heard me. Yuffie blushes and stutters around you. Tifa always tries to get you to stay at the bar with her. Cid… he's just Cid, I guess… And don't forget that little girl…**_

"Marlene?"

_**Yeah, Marlene. Come on, she likes you. You've got a way with kids, Vincent. **_

"Wonderful… now I'm earning points with the pedophile community…"

**_Cut the crap, Vincent, I'm tiring of it. Just get off your fat lazy ass and go outside for once. The sun won't melt you, Dracula, so just go!_**

"You've been around Yuffie too much."

_**And lovin' it. She's got quite a spark in her, that one. If I were the one on the surface, I'd have made a move on her by now.**_

"Believe me," said Vincent, kicking absently at a rat that scurried across his path, "I'm glad you are not me."

_**Whatever… are you going or not?**_

"I'll go if you give me one good reason."

_**I won't quit bugging you until you do, Brood.**_

"First Dracula and now Brood… you're as bad as Yuffie."

_**Just go already.**_

Vincent turned and walked out of ShinRa Manor. A drink at Tifa's bar did sound like a good idea right now… dealing with Chaos always gave him a headache.

**_Glad I'm good for something…_** muttered Chaos, intercepting Vincent's thought as it passed through his mind.

"Chaos…"

_**Yes?**_

"Please be quiet."

_**Sir, yes sir, shuttin' the hell up, sir…**_


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: This was originally going to be a one-shot, but chaos'babe has convinced me to continue. Therefore, this chapter and all others are dedicated to her for her kindness and support. Thanks chaos'babe.

JKS

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Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 2

**_Hey Vinnie, how long has it been since you saw your teammates?_ **Chaos asked as Vincent plodded listlessly along toward Kalm. Vincent gave a shrug, ignoring the demon for the time being.

**_Come on, say something already! It's BORING in here!_ **

Vincent continued to walk. The only indication he had heard Chaos at all was the quiet "Hn" sound that he made. Chaos let out a short laugh.

**_I'm sorry Vinnie; I forgot my 'Vincent-to-English' dictionary in your other head. Tell me, was that a "Chaos, go away" sort of 'Hn' or was it the "Yes, I agree and understand, Chaos" sort of 'Hn'?_**

"Chaos," said Vincent to the empty air, "If you aren't quiet, I'll put you where I put all my useless thoughts."

_**Ooh, goody! I get to go where all the naughty thoughts go! This is so exciting! I remember the last time you put me there…**_

Vincent snorted, "What are you talking about?"

_**You know exactly what I mean, Vincent! Last time you put me in your subconscious, I saw all the little dirty things you think about Tifa… all the inner thoughts about Yuffie…**_

Vincent gave a snort, glaring inwardly at Chaos. "You're a pervert. I think no such thoughts!"

**_You might not, but your subconscious thinks differently…_** Chaos gave the mental impression of nodding sagely as he said this. Vincent closed his blood-red eyes for a moment, sighing at the demon's antics.

"Why do you always bother me?" he asked after a moment. He drew Cerberus and blew a fist-sized rock apart as he walked past, realizing that it did little to alleviate his aggravation with Chaos.

_**Perhaps because it's fun… I don't really know. Why?**_

"Just curious…" responded Vincent. He made no effort to conceal the sarcasm and loathing dripping from his voice. _Oh how I wish the Silence spell would work on him…_

_**I heard that thought!**_

Vincent paused at a small sign and looked up at it. He blanched slightly. Chaos peered through Vincent's eyes for a moment, and laughed a little bit.

"**_Kalm: 159 Miles," _**he read, **_"Midgar, 398 Miles. No rest stops for next 50 Miles. Have a nice day."_**

Vincent allowed his head to slide forward and land against the pole with a dull thunk. _Why me?_

_**You're just lucky, Vinnie!**_

"Please don't call me 'Vinnie', Chaos. My name is Vincent."

_**Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie! Oh, what're you gonna do to me? Hit me?**_

Vincent removed his forehead from the sign and continued walking. "I'm not going to hit you…" he said at length "…but I wish I could sometimes."

_**Face it Vincent, you know you need me!**_

"Like a hole in the head."

_**That actually might put in a nice skylight. It's kinda dark in here, you know. You could do with the cross-breeze as well.**_

"Chaos, do I have to compartmentalize you again?"

**_Fine, fine…_** muttered Chaos **_…I'll be quiet…_**

He sent Vincent the mental image of himself with the Yuffie-trademark pout on his face. Vincent snorted, which was his version of a small laugh.

"Yuffie might charge you in Materia for using her trademark pout, Chaos," he warned.

_**Yipe! The only Materia I have is my Death-Penalty Summon Materia! She can't have that!**_

"Watch her try," said Vincent in his normal deadpan voice as he continued toward Kalm.


	3. Chapter 3

Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 3

After three days, Vincent finally saw the sign that proclaimed in loud, white letters "WELCOME TO KALM" and beneath that, "Population 130".

_**Population's decreased since our last visit, eh Vinnie?**_

_Oh shut up…_ Vincent thought, walking down the street to where he knew Tifa's bar was located. He never used street names to navigate; using instead unusual buildings and landmarks. He turned left at a stone statue of Aerith, and walking down a dingy alleyway to come out on the dimly lit street where the Seventh Heaven Bar was located.

A small smile crept onto his features as he saw Tifa inside busily cleaning tables and putting chairs up for the night. Before she could fully lock up the bar, Vincent used his golden gauntlet to tap a few times on the glass panels of the door. Tifa looked up and squinted in his direction before her mouth formed a small "O" of surprise at seeing him.

She quickly dashed over and opened the door, smiling up at him. "Vincent! How long has it been? A year… two?"

_**Have her boobs gotten bigger, or is it just me?**_

_Chaos, be quiet right now._

"It has been almost two years, Tifa. How are you?" he responded, ignoring the demon in his mind. Tifa smiled at him, motioning for him to come inside.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked, stepping behind the bar and giving him her best 'bartender look'.

Vincent shook his head, his black hair cascading around his pale face. "You were closing the bar. I was just stopping in to say hello. I couldn't burden-"

Tifa cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Red wine, right? It's no burden, Vincent."

_**She knows you well! Come on… get sauced! It's fun.**_

_You talk like you know what it's like to get drunk!_

_**I can guess, judging from how Cid and Barrett always act. Plus, it would be a good experience for you. Loosen up, remember?**_

"Red wine will be fine, as long as I'm not intruding," Vincent said after a moment. "I thank you."

Tifa set the glass of maroon liquid in front of him, smiling down at him. "No problem. By the way, have you seen Yuffie lately?"

Vincent's eyes snapped up from the wine, watching Tifa as he answered. "No."

Tifa put away the rag she was using to clean the counters and sat down behind the bar. "She was looking for you," she said at last, "She misses you."

Vincent downed the rest of his wine, running his tongue over his thin lips behind the wall of crimson that protected his face. "Yuffie probably wants Chaos' one-of-a-kind Materia, that's all."

Tifa shrugged, "She never once mentioned him. She only talked about you, Vincent."

_**Aww… I think I'm gonna cry.**_

_Shut up._

"I mean," continued Tifa, "She was always asking when you'd be back. When Cloud said you were either back to sleeping in Nibelheim or dead, she almost cried!"

Vincent snorted, tapping the index finger of his gauntlet on the bar. "Cloud thought I was dead?"

_**Boy is he in for a surprise.**_

_I told you to shut up._

_**Alright… I'm tired anyway. I'm gonna turn in for the night. I recommend you do the same. You don't want to collapse now, do you?**_

"Tifa…" Vincent started, looking up at her for a moment. "…do you have a spare room I can use for the time being?"

Tifa brightened considerably, her smiling face practically radiating joy. "Of course! Come on, this way!"

Vincent pulled out a small oilskin pouch from beneath his cloak and opened it. "How much for a week?" he asked, his human fingers palming several coins of Gil.

"Normally, it's twenty-seven Gil," answered Tifa, "But since you're our friend…"

Vincent dropped twenty-seven Gil on the counter, adding a one-hundred Gil stack of coins next to it. "I'll pay like everyone else."

_**Smooth Vincent – learn to take a free ride very now and then.**_

_I thought you were asleep._

_**Er… snore?**_

_Just go to sleep._

Tifa led him up the stairs and to one of the guest rooms. Gratefully, Vincent lay down on a bed that wasn't lined with red velvet and made of mahogany wood. Although his coffin back in Nibelheim was comfortable, it left much to be desired when it came to space. Twice since the Meteorfall incident he had rolled over and found himself face-to-face with the red velvet as opposed to lying on his back.

With a contented mental sigh, Vincent fell into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 4

As he usually did when he fell asleep nowadays, Vincent materialized within his own mind. Chaos was standing in the empty room that they both visualized him to exist in, tapping his metal-clad foot against the floor.

**_Took you long enough,_** the demon snorted, fanning his wings in annoyance. Vincent snorted, leaning against one of the walls of the 'room'.

_**Would you lighten up? Your negativity is bleaching the air.**_

Vincent tapped his gauntlet against his bicep, sighing in mild annoyance. "Chaos, go find something to do. I'm thinking."

_**Yeah, I know… don't forget I'm stuck in your mind. You're worried about Yuffie, aren't you?**_

Vincent looked up, surprised to see that Chaos was actually being sincere as opposed to being sarcastic. After a moment, he nodded in response to Chaos' query.

_**Alright, I can help with that.**_

Vincent walked over as Chaos snapped the fingers of his right hand. A book appeared, floating in the air between them. Chaos indicated the pages, and Vincent walked around and looked into the manuscript.

_**This is the 'book' of your memories, Vincent. Go on, look through them. Find one that contains BOTH Yuffie and yourself, got it?**_

Vincent flipped through the pages, watching as the photographs of him seemed to move; recreating the memories verbatim. He finally selected one and pointed to it. Chaos peered over his shoulder and looked at it.

_**When did THAT happen? What, was I asleep for that?**_

"Right before we fought, Sephiroth, she decided it would be a good time to give me a hug," explained Vincent. "I distinctly remember you making an obscene comment about it as well."

_**Probably… oh well. Anyway, now… how can we extrapolate on that memory to use it in this time period to draw you and Yuffie together?**_

"No matter what you say, Chaos, I refuse to allow you to play matchmaker with us. It is wrong on more levels than I have sins."

_**Big frikin' deal. Guess what, Vinnie, you can't control me. Deal with it.**_

Vincent massaged his forehead, looking between his fingers at Chaos.

"I give you one chance. How about that? If you screw it up, you don't try again," he said at last. Chaos laughed heartily.

_**Pal, for one chance, I'll also lay off the perversity for the time being!**_

Vincent snorted, clicking his fingers together and summoning a chair from thin air. Within his own mind, he had complete control. It was one of the few things Vincent took pleasure in. He seated himself, tapping his finger impatiently on his thigh.

"What's the plan?"

_**Alright Vincent… the first step is to make sure she still likes you. I can give you more info on that tomorrow night. Until then, make sure you keep her in your field of vision as much as possible. I'll be watching her as well.**_

"Like I said, don't screw this up."

_**Have no fear, Chaos is here! Er… wait… I kind of impose fear, don't I?**_

Vincent sighed as Chaos began to deliberate whether or not Vincent should be afraid of him. After a few minutes, Vincent began to feel the familiar sensation of awakening.

"I will meet you again tomorrow night, Chaos," he said as he faded from his own mind. "Don't do anything stupid until then…"

_**Yeah… I know… no parties…**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 5

Vincent cracked open his crimson eyes, and found himself staring into an intense pair of stormy gray eyes.

"What-" he began, but the owner of the eyes happily bounced off of his bed and began to dance gleefully around the room.

"Yay!" screeched Yuffie Kisaragi as she skipped around his room with her usual boundless energy, "Vinnie's awake!"

_Barely… _"Is there something you wanted?" he asked, trying to ignore the fact that this was the first time she had seen him since the GeoStigma incident almost two years ago. Yuffie stopped bouncing for a moment and looked at him.

"Gee, aren't you glad to see me?" she asked. Vincent raised an eyebrow, but decided it was best not to answer. He stood up from the bed, wincing behind his cowl as his back let out a low pop. _I'm getting old…_

_**Funny for someone who doesn't age…**_

"Yuffie, what are you doing here?" he asked, adjusting one of the buckles that crossed his chest.

"Tifa called, she said you showed up!" Yuffie exclaimed gleefully. She sauntered up to Vincent and grabbed him by the claw and pulled him out of the room he'd been using. "Come on Dracula, Tifa's got breakfast ready!"

_Yes… Chaos, you are more like her than you probably know._

_**I know every bit of it, Vinnie.**_

_Stop calling me that._

Yuffie led Vincent down into the kitchen, and he looked apprehensively at Yuffie as she shoved a plateful of food toward his face.

"See?" she said, holding the plate so close that Vincent saw nothing but smears of yellow and white. "Scrambled eggs! Come on, try some!"  
Vincent accepted the plate from Yuffie, staring at the mound of what seemed to be yellowish slime on his plate. He seated himself at the nearest table and began to eat.

_**Now THAT is something you should look for in a mate – a good cook. Screw Yuffie, mate with Tifa! She cooks better than that slop you call food.**_

_Chaos, I request you desist in your actions for now. Aren't you supposed to be observing Yuffie?_

_**I am. **_

Vincent continued to eat, attempting to ignore Chaos for now. However, the demon said something that startled him.

_**Hey Vincent, can I ask something?**_

_Ask away._

_**I was wondering if you could let me stretch my wings this evening. C'mon, please? I won't shoot anyone, I promise. Scout's Honor…**_

_What do you mean 'Scout's Honor'? You were never a Boy Scout!_

_**Fine, but can I? Please? C'mon Vinnie… its soooooo boring in here…**_

_How do I know you won't kill Yuffie or Tifa… or attack Cloud… or something?_

_**I won't… c'mon PWEEZE? **_

_Ugh… fine… just don't do anything stupid._

Vincent missed the small snigger that Chaos allowed to slip from his fanged mouth. **_I promise Vinnie._**


	6. Chapter 6

Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 6

Chaos flew above the rooftops of Kalm, his large leathery wings beating powerfully to keep him aloft. He had a goal in mind, and Vincent was effectively sleeping within his mind. He wouldn't be bothering him for a while.

He landed softly on the roof of Seventh Heaven. Vincent had taken him to the outskirts of Kalm to transform, and Chaos had now returned to his point of origin. He crawled across the rooftop and down the wall, looking in windows until he found the one he was looking for.

He tapped on the window. Inside, a certain Wutaian ninja looked up briefly to meet the golden eyes of the demon perched casually outsider her window. She quickly got up from the bed and opened the windowpane, allowing Chaos to easily slide into her room.

Easily, that is, until his wings caught painfully on the sides of the window.

"Chaos…" chided Yuffie as she helped free the demon's wings, "…what are you doing?"

Chaos dusted some splinters from his silver gauntlet, nodding his thanks to Yuffie.

**_I'm here on Vincent's behalf…_** he said slowly. He would have to pick his words carefully. One wrong word could set off a chain of events he DIDN'T want to be in the middle of.

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Yuffie, folding her arms across her chest.

_**To be frank, he likes you. Unfortunately, he's far too thick to do anything about it… I need your help… will you do it?**_

Yuffie laughed, "Chaos, don't you think I've tried? I practically threw myself at him the whole time we fought Sephiroth, and the guy didn't even blink. What's a girl supposed to do?"

**_Hm…_** Chaos tapped his chin with a silver-tipped claw, leaning his bulk against the window frame. **_I have ONE idea, but it'll probably get us both killed… frankly m'dear, I'm fresh out of plans._**

Yuffie threw her hands up in exasperation. "Come on Chaos," she whined, "You know Vinnie better than any of us! There has to be something…"

A light bulb shone above Chaos' head for a split second. **_How handy are you with your hands?_**

"Um… pretty good… why?" she answered, looking tentatively at Chaos.

_**His favorite animal is the swan. I could… help… make a beautiful sculpture of one. You would have to do the majority of the work, but I could supervise…**_

Yuffie jumped in the air, punching upwards with a surge of energy. "Yeah! That's perfect! Great thinking Chaos… when can we start?"

_**I need you to talk to Vincent about allowing me to visit with you for longer periods of time first. Otherwise, he'll get suspicious. Can you do that for me?**_

Yuffie flashed the demon a thumbs-up, smiling at him. "You betcha!"

Chaos nodded. **_If that is the case, I must flee for now._**

"Wait!" Chaos turned around, looking back at Yuffie. **_Hm?_**

"Er… why couldn't you help me build the swan?" she asked slowly. "Not to seem ungrateful or anything, mind you."

Chaos smiled, showing his fangs. **_Where I come from, making something of this magnitude is a testament to love's labors. Therefore, it must come from YOU, Miss Kisaragi. Also, this damn metal gauntlet would probably ruin it._**

Yuffie laughed, and Chaos felt Vincent stir inside him. He quickly folded his wings tightly against his body and bailed out the window, spreading his wings before he hit the ground and soaring off into the night sky.

Inside him, Vincent awoke.

"So Chaos…" he asked, "… what'd I miss?"

_**Nothing more important than flying around to stretch my wings…**_


	7. Chapter 7

Chaotic Illusions: Chapter 7

"Hey Vinnie!" squealed Yuffie the next day, causing the gunslinger to internally cringe. _The Gods hate me…_

He turned around and faced the hyperactive ninja as she bounced from one foot to the other. He raised an eyebrow; his way of telling her to speak or leave.

"Er… can I talk to Chaos sometime?" she asked nervously. She looked up to see Vincent's reaction.

His eyebrow had risen so high it seemed to be hidden beneath his crimson bandana. "And why, exactly, would you do that?"

**_Cuz she likes me!_ **

_Please be quiet._

Yuffie shuffled nervously again, "Err… I was just curious… y'know… I've never spoken to him and… er…"

"…fine…"

She looked up in shock. Had Vincent really just agreed to this?

"…he's been pestering me for time to stretch his wings anyway…"

Yuffie resisted the urge to 'glomp' Vincent on the spot. Instead, the ninja settled for a quick thank you and a hasty retreat from the room.

_**Why the hell did you agree?**_

_You said you wanted time to stretch your wings, did you not?_ Vincent went and sat down in a corner, ignoring his surroundings as he turned his gaze inward to communicate with Chaos.

_**Pardon my question, but why don't you like Yuffie so much? I mean, you admitted to liking her, I know, but you still think about shooting her with Cerberus whenever she shows up. That's NOT how to profess your love to anyone except a circular bulls-eye, Vinnie.**_

_For the last time, my name is not-_

_**Yeah… I know… I just enjoy pissing you off. **_

…

_**Oooh, the silent treatment! I'm shaking in my boots…**_

…

_**Brooding again, mortal?**_

…_I do not brood…_

_**Pal, you brood more than anyone I've ever seen – and I'm what, seven thousand years old… ish…**_

_It must be sad when you don't know your own age, demon…_

…

_Ooh, the silent treatment…_

_**Ha freaking ha… you might just have a career as a stand-up comedian if you quit the deadpan voice.**_

_Demon… I'm giving you a chance to be quiet before I rip out your lungs next chance I get._

"_**Here lies Chaos: Had his lungs ripped out by a socially retarded angst-soaked, BROODING vampire."**_

Vincent ignored Chaos at this point. It was time for him to take a walk and clear his mind.


End file.
